Cindy and Cecilia

Cindy Julissa has a round figure, cropped hair and bushy eyebrows. Her only child, Cecilia, is five years old and incredibly affectionate. Cecilia constantly seeks attention and affirmation from her mother, her teachers and me. Our Program Director Carlos says that she is always looking for love because her father abuses her, like so many others here.

Cindy’s husband works very much--“to help people,” she says. Cindy does beadwork herself, but only sells her jewelry at parties.They often do not have enough to eat. They usually spend the money he makes by the 15^th of the month. Right now, they have only beans and powdered milk for the Cecilia. No one will lend her food, but sometimes she can share with her mother.

Before they had this house they rented another one, farther away. When Cecilia began to study at the Center they moved here. The house is very small and cluttered. The edges are crowded with mounds of clothing and plastic bundles. The small television is showing static to a tattered chair and couch when I arrive. There is a two burner stove in the corner and a shelf covered in dishes. Laundry hangs in the half open adjoining room: men’s jeans and little girl’s panties. Piles of garbage. Piles of wood. Piles of wet and dirty clothes. A pit latrine in the back. Cindy is embarrassed. She would have tidied up if she’d known earlier that I was coming.

They have no water. It costs $150 to buy the rights to use the nearest tank, then $3 for use each month. They sell water at a nearby school for 10 cents per container—clean water. Cindy shows me a large blue vessel she carries the water in. Several blocks. About ten times per day. The family has had several problems from drinking contaminated water: bronchial infections and problems with parasites. Cecilia was premature, born at 7 months, so she has a compromised immune system and gets sick often.

She has two books, about women’s rights and domestic abuse from a workshop she attended. One has been partially eaten by a rat. “There are rats,” Cecilia interjects. A moment later she points to cartoon rats running across the television screen. They’ve put on Lady and the Tramp. It was my favorite movie when I was her age.

Cindy says the biggest problem in her life right now is making sure Cecilia’s education is taking care of. She does not want her daughter to end up like her. Also, sometimes her husband works and sometimes he does not. If she could do some work from home, it would be much better for them. It’s very hard for Cindy to find work because she doesn’t trust anyone to watch her child.

When Cecilia was only three years old, she got lost for a long time. Cindy had left her with her father. He brought the girl to his mother’s house. But the woman didn’t watch her closely and the girl ran away. Cindy was very frightened. She called the police. Eventually they found her—a woman was watching her—but it took a long time. Cindy trusts no one with Cecilia now. Not her husband. Not her stepmother. She leaves her alone only at the Center.

Cecilia wants to be a teacher. I ask why. Because you like people, right? says her mother. No. Because she likes to drink milk. But she doesn’t like school because she has to get up early and can’t sleep in. She shows me her toys: a box with soiled plastic tea cups, an off-white bunny, and a baby doll with one foot. She is very proud of these things, which are hers alone. She holds my hand and asks me to stay. She sits on my lap, and we watch the movie together.